Managing the extra time away from home is a top issue for the new drivers on the forum. Some solitary motorists enquire about meeting someone on the road and making things work. Sometimes women leave comments asking for advice on how to assist their husbands in adapting, and sometimes a bossy woman seeks to further her man’s career.
Having a significant other abruptly pulled from your daily routines is a naturally complicated period. Still, it can be managed if both persons compromise and show sympathy and understanding for the other person’s needs. I am familiar with the responsibilities of each spouse since I am both a driver and a previous fiancée of an infantryman in the army who was often deployed. I can also reassure drivers that meeting a person on the road is quite possible.
Everyone Is Under Pressure
The newly licensed driver is often the family’s primary source of income. This individual, whether a man or a woman, is under much pressure to achieve in a field where most people fail. When you add weeks or months of training with little to no money, the need to financially support your family heightens your desire to pass the CDL test. The pressure on the student’s shoulders rises tremendously if they fail the first time.
The domestic partner, meanwhile, may feel just as anxious about this new endeavor that will affect them both but has little influence over the circumstances. It might be frightening to think of being left alone to manage home issues and choices. Of course, the emotional pressure and distance between you can also cause issues with communication and trust.
Some relationships work out, just like any other connection. Before enrolling in CDL training, you should discuss with your spouse what you both anticipate and share any information you may have about potential jobs.
New Driver Support
One of the worst experiences of my life was taking the CDL test. I had always been successful in anything I set out to do, so I was not ready for the frustration and humiliation I went through. After all, I earned a degree in Social & Human Services as well as History & Political Science and finished with honors. I spent 18 years working for the federal government, served on gubernatorial & presidential campaigns, had lunch with the president of the United States, and authored and published five books and audiobooks.
How did I not figure out how to get the vehicle into the right hole? Why could I not maintain the clutch under control and prevent the vehicle from stalling? My high IQ was of absolutely no use! Nothing made sense when it came to the backing, and even when I thought I got it, I could not duplicate the action. I genuinely felt a learning disability for the first time in my life.
The idea is that rookie drivers will experience extreme highs and lows in their feelings of success. That motorist will sound as erratic as a magnet while speaking on the phone. Have you ever played with two magnets where one spins around and faces the other direction? That is just how quickly a good day can go south. Then we discover that we do not have it. When a driver also yearns to be with family and weeps on their wife’s or husbands’ shoulder, they easily lose their bearings and fall into depression.
A motivating supporter is one of the best benefits a rookie driver can have. It was my brother in my instance. He made me think of some of the long-distance drivers we knew just as I was ready to give up. Some of them were quite clever, while others were total buffoons who just complained. Some people had excellent driving skills, while others, after years of practice, could not reverse into a dock.
Although extreme, its remark is powerful. According to my brother, if any of those men can do this, you have no justification for failing. Compared to most of them, you are far more ambitious.
Millions of drivers have obtained their CDLs since obtaining one requires a strong enough desire. Fighting for it and going above and above to earn it is key. Drivers need the people who matter most in their lives to support them while they work hard to win since the job is both mental and physical.
Yes, believe this to be a battle or an athletic victory. In any case, the partner’s remarks and behavior at home are influential. The driver’s mental health and potentially their job may be impacted by that individual’s attitude at home, whether it is favorable or bad.
Recognize that the driver will be worn out once on the road. He could be confused about the time of day, the day of the week, or even what state he is in after spending several hours traveling and adapting to different timetables. The fact that you may go to sleep in Missouri & wake up in Texas makes teaming even more absurd! Time goes very quickly.
It is important to remember that the driver’s lack of communication or forgetting to call at a certain time has nothing to do with how they feel about their partner. Until I saw a Happy Birthday greeting from my fleet manager on my Qualcomm, I had forgotten about my birthday. The rookie eventually becomes much better at time management, and his everyday errors decrease. The ongoing irritation and worry go away. Now he can concentrate more on his family life. So if he forgets a major achievement, remain patient.
One of the forum users noted how strange the home setting seemed to him when he went home for the first time while in training. More like a guest in his own house, he thought. Many feel cut off from their loved ones as they go through their “real world” experiences. Both of you are not insane, and this is very natural. Fast food outlets, truck stops, and customers now make up the driver’s daily routine. The motorist can feel envious of people at home on the odd trip to Walmart.
Home time and family life will eventually settle into a routine as time goes on. The most crucial element is that both sides constantly speak without using accusatory language. Although the driver feels bad enough for leaving his family, this is the greatest way to provide for them and fulfill a life goal of traveling. The domestic partner could feel ignored and left out. Having frank and open conversations is essential to maintaining the connection.
The home partner should exercise patience, speak in a non-threatening manner, and make an effort to know that the “weirdness” is just a passing phase. Talk as much as you can on the phone and via Skype. Remember that the sacrifices the driver makes are for your family’s benefit. As though he were at home, include him in choices and ask for his help. Men are problem solvers. Let us face it. He will feel wanted and useful even if you ask him where to take the car for an oil change.
Give him space when he comes back, and avoid smothering him. He probably just returned from a 10-hour drive, so he will be completely worn out. Although he has been anticipating it all week, he may need to unwind and take a break before taking on the role of husband.
Do not trust the driver when they say they will reach home; halt them in their tracks if they do. Even with the greatest of intentions, it is impossible to maintain a promise like, “I will be home on Saturday.” The time the driver takes to get home might be affected by weather, mechanical problems, road closures, and tire blowouts. Deliveries alter, loads are added to the schedule, and the driver does not influence any of it.
Recognize that all dates are only estimates, and try not to obsess about lost time at home. The good news is that the driver will be home soon, perhaps a day late, but he will. You can make any day special if you want to. When he arrives home, commemorate their achievements.
Help the People of Your Home
It is not just about you, drivers! The supporter at home who is encouraging you is experiencing the same emotional roller coaster as you. You must sympathize with them as well as comprehend their anxieties. They miss you and are equally worried about the mortgage and power bill.
Women often need to comfort others. We want to massage your tension away or cook chicken soup when you phone and tell us you are unwell or tired. It may be devastating to be unable to do so, leaving us powerless and worthless. I am aware of ladies who worry about house invasions while they sleep alone at night. Therefore, when she raises issues, please consider them carefully. Do not discount her sentiments, and realize that she dislikes the separation. Still concerned about you.
It will be more challenging for both sides the more reliant the person at home is on the new driver. This is a fact, not a conclusion. Since she met her spouse when she was 15 years old and has been married to him for 40 years, she has never needed a driver’s license due to her dependence on him. She has never taken a bus or a plane alone, yet it is nothing ordinary for them.
As far as I know, she and her partner cannot survive a divorce. They were emotionally unable to handle it. And that is okay; they are not cut out for driving trucks. A possible driver must ensure their companion can withstand it before getting on the bus. You two must decide that trucking is for both of you, and it better be a joint choice.
Make careful not to commit to something you know you can not maintain. Send an occasional SMS or e-card as a simple “Thinking of You” gesture. Heck, once in a while, give someone flowers or Godiva chocolates. You may give your wife flowers and a “Thank you for supporting me” message if you have enough money to spend on video games, movies, or new truck toys. It might even help your loved one cope with their loneliness and separation from you.
Trust is important!
You better be prepared for the green-eyed monster of envy to raise its ugly head once the student driver is out on the road if it did so before they joined the trucking industry. Your life might become a living nightmare if your spouse is insecure.
For example, a man I know who is in training was shouted at by his fiancée and did not speak to him for four days when she overheard the female GPS voice chatting! He neglected to view that trailer because he was preoccupied with the idea that his relationship may be in danger and instead swiped a pole while turning.
While her boyfriend was traveling through the Colorado Rockies, another girlfriend phoned her man’s dispatcher because she could not reach him. She called dispatch since he did not have a phone signal and asked questions like, “Is he cheating on me? Is it the reason he is not answering the phone? Is his vehicle moving? Do you notice it? If this keeps happening, you have far deeper issues than failing the CDL test. It can become a problem with your employment if it does not improve.
A person who has not cheated at home will not do so on the road. However, someone who cheated at home is likely to hook up with strangers while on the road. This is a problem with reality and personality, not with trucks. Get rid of the idea that your domestic partner is following you around. If you pick an honest, devoted partner, it will not happen.
In the end, both partners need to have faith in one another. This trust is not only reserved for romantic and sexual liaisons. The new driver has to be trusted to manage his or her new work without the home partner’s intervention.
I recall a lady asking us on the trucker’s forum whether it was okay to get in touch with her husband’s dispatcher and correct him about kilometers and pay. Always no is the response. Since driving an OTR requires a driver to be at least 21 years old, everyone here must behave like an adult. The driver is responsible for managing his or her own company.
Are you alone and driving? Never give up hope!
Although challenging, it is not impossible to find the appropriate partner and keep a relationship going while traveling. One of our moderators used to work with her partner; now, they train separately in different vehicles but spend time at home together. I attempted to meet someone, but when I gave up trying, he stumbled into my life. When a man at the next table overheard me talking to someone at the airport, he laughed so hard that he choked on his lunch. He said he had to get to know me because he found me humorous. We still pursue each other from coast to coast and try to meet at the airport. That was eight months ago. Even though I drive for a business, I spent nine days with him in December, and not a single one of those days were spent at home.
The benefit of meeting another driver is that everyone is fully aware of the circumstances. When things do not go according to plan, we are more forgiving. Additionally, we value our time together more now. Additionally, because we can converse on the phone during the whole driving shift, we feel more “connected.”
It is wonderful to follow one another in the rear on long journeys. My partner and I ran together over Vail in Colorado from Denver to Salt Lake City. We could share the beauty and point out the ice and waterfalls despite being in separate vehicles. You would not believe how often this may occur, particularly if you work for the same firm.
Another benefit of dating another trucker is the potential for operating a team together. Who else except your spouse would you entrust with your life?
Communication, respect, trust, and understanding are ultimate what matter. Spend only valuable time. Do not squander the time you have together; instead, be kind and supportive of one another.
Ensure safe driving to get home quickly!
